Question from R:
I just read about Esther’s story about Burl Yves (he was great!) and the feeling of bliss in crossing over.
Now if we are all spirit in these bodies and we never die, what is the big problem of suicide? To me, all negativity concerning suicide comes from religion.
I’m extremely tired of being here and would love to go home…to me it would just be giving up this vehicle called the body..no big deal… If you have the time, could you reply?
Here are my thoughts:
I agree, it seems the negativity concerning suicide is religiously oriented, or politically oriented. Esther/Abraham says that all death is suicide, and that makes sense to me – especially if we take responsibility for being here in the first place.
I used to worry about people who wanted to commit suicide, or worse, I thought they were avoiding responsibility. In some cases that’s true, but in other cases, it can be a clear understanding of when your time is up.
People think about suicide as an “out”, which it is in some ways. It is mostly a desire to move away from pain, and it is certainly one of the options. I guess you could think of suicide in the same way as bankruptcy – a chance to clear it all up and try again.
Esther tells a story (probably on one of their CDs of the month) about watching some young children play with sticks and marveling at their absorption. She and Jerry talk about how soon they will be able to come back and play like that. I don’t think it means they are contemplating suicide, just that they realize their time on Earth, and in these bodies, is limited.
Now, in your case, I’m reminded of my dad who was disabled at 40 and as he got older he was afraid his body would outlast him. He was a hemiplegic (paralyzed on his left side), but otherwise pretty healthy. In his last few years he began to withdraw – not as extreme as an Alzheimer’s patient, but he had his own dementia of the memory-loss type. And his personality seemed to retreat, too.
When he lived with us in his final years, he – the Dad I knew – wasn’t really here most of the time. He was just this nice old guy who lived with us and expected us to take care of him.
As time went on, he stopped taking care of himself at all. He gave up his desire to thrive, and was interested in only the most basic stuff – like his dinner and going to the bathroom, and watching Jeopardy.
After we moved him into a nursing home because we could no longer transport him safely from his wheelchair, he came down with a cold one day. Then it became pneumonia. We all expected him to recover, even the nurses. Suddenly, however, it became very serious (like within a day or so). Then he was gone. Even the death certificate stated “lack of thriving” as the cause.
Dad would never have consciously chosen suicide, but I personally think he had enough presence of mind to take advantage of the opportunity and decided to “go home” and give up the body he had dragged around for 35 years after his illness. Some think that Alzheimer’s patients retreat mentally because they don’t know how to give up their body, even though they are ready to leave.
When you’re ready to go, you’ll find the way, whether it’s consciously or not. You will create the circumstances that are acceptable for you (and/or those around you – your family, friends, clergy), and you’ll go.
As for me, I have many, many more things I want to do this time around – things I didn’t have the courage, understanding, and/or means to do when I was younger. Perhaps I’ll feel the way you do someday. When that time comes I *think* I’ll be smart enough to recognize it consciously, but for now I’m having too much fun.
It is strange to me that almost all societies have laws against suicide – and some of the penalties include death! My feeling is that if you have made the choice that it’s your time to move on, that’s your business. Hope this helps!
Katie P.S. My husband has willed $1000 to each of 10 of his friends, to be spent on a celebration of his life once he is gone. He wants all 10 of them notified of the others and encouraged to all get together, but they don’t have to. He is in the middle of writing his music playlist for the party.
You may want to think of something appropriate for you regarding how you want people to celebrate and remember you. It can be simple or large. For me, I think I will be leaving some money to an art scholarship fund, but I don’t want any services, just my ashes scattered on our property. But again, for now I’m having too much fun to think much about that!